I don’t know about you, but we have some lingering candy still laying around the house from the holidays. I have told myself many times, “I am not going to eat any more M&M’s.” Unfortunately, the minute I tell myself no, those darn M&M’s are all I can think about. I mean I am all about listening to your body and if it needs a little chocolate, M&M’s may be a better choice than say a large chocolate bar, but it’s like all of a sudden my cravings are up. I am like a little kid and have to slap my own hand away because I want more and more.
Is this a problem for you? Maybe you don’t have a problem with the M&M’s, but do you have a problem getting up earlier, turning your phone off, going to the gym or out for a walk, eating too may sweets? There are hundreds of things each day that we either say YES or No to. The ability to choose is empowering, yet we often choose the opposite of what we are really trying to achieve. We say yes to the stuff that we know we would rather not do (the M&M’s come to mind) and no to the things we know makes us feel better (getting out for a walk or going to bed earlier).
Willpower is defined in the dictionary as the, “control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.” Basically we are resisting short term temptations or participating in an activity in order to meet a long term goal. The kicker though is that your goal needs to be tied to your motivation for the change to begin with and to strengthen willpower. Right after the new year I did a blog about goal setting. Please review this for additional details on goal setting.
In a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, survey participants regularly cite lack of willpower as a No. 1 reason for not following through with healthy lifestyle changes. Willpower (also known as self-discipline and self control) has been studied across all ages and demographics and one thing is clear, willpower is important at all ages and is often correlated to better academic success, higher self esteem, better relationship skills, greater financial security, success at lifestyle changes and fewer abuse problems. In addition, the research proves there are varying levels of success with displays of willpower. You may be able to exercise self control over many things in your life but for everyone there can be points of weakness and frustration.
What can you do to improve your willpower?
- Give yourself a break – practicing self control is a great way to build your willpower but if you never give yourself a break you may deplete your resolve and throw in the towel all together. Think, I am only going to allow myself a diet coke 2 days this week instead of 4. You practice self control for the two days initially and give yourself some grace on the other two and enjoy your diet coke. Over time if your goal is to cut out diet soda you will slowly do that without the feel if deprivation.
- Change your mindset – the body often responds to imagined situations the same way that it does to real situations. Imagine that you have decided to wait for those M&M’s or how you feel after a long walk. The mind can work by helping decrease the desire to eat something or to motivate us to do something good for ourselves (i.e. the walk) whether or not it actually happened.
- Manage your stress – stress depletes our willpower and we fall back into ingrained habits (good or bad). Deep breathing, getting some movement, adequate sleep and meditation can help to decrease stress.
- Be authentically you – it takes a lot of energy to be someone you aren’t or to put on a show to please others depletes our willpower significantly because we have spent so much energy on the facade.
- Minimize temptation – Sweets, alcohol, tobacco a challenge for you? Don’t keep them in the house or in small amounts. Movement and sleep never seem to happen? Minimize the chances that a barrier will occur by planning strategies to help you achieve those good for you behaviors.
- Distraction – instead of thinking about the diet coke, plan what you will think about instead. Its almost like a hypnotist, when I say diet coke you think sparkling water with lemon. Trick your brain into thinking of something else. You can also try telling yourself I will make my decision in 10 minutes and see if you would make a different choice.
- Tie your actions to your “Why” – what is your motivation for the change anyways? What difference would your choice make in your life and helping you to achieve your goal?
As always there will be good days and challenging days. Give yourself grace and compassion and know that the next meal or the next day is a brand new opportunity to live the life you picture for yourself! You CAN do it!
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Challenge:
- What is one tip from above that you can implement the next time you find yourself short on willpower? Write down one thing you are trying to change/improve in your life, why is this one thing important to you? Below this information write down your selected tip. Put the paper or sticky note in an area you will see when faced with temptation. Is that the office, your bathroom mirror, the car, your gym bag, the refrigerator? Refer to this visual as a reminder what you are trying to change and what you can do to help you succeed and improve your willpower.
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