As I was flying home from a recent work trip, I found myself watching the people around me. I started thinking, although these airplanes seats are not the most comfortable (especially if you are in the back like I was or if you are stuck in the middle :)) many of the people on the plane were still “comfortable.” Most had on Bose noise cancelling headphones, were plugged in to an iPad watching a movie, the flight attendant was offering them a beverage of their choice and many had a yummy snack. I reflected that this observation is mimicked daily in our lives as humans and is often sought out. We have a drive through for almost everything so we don’t have to get out of the car, grocery store pick up and delivery, products geared towards our comfort and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong I love all of those things and have used grocery store pick up on more occasions than I care to admit, but we have gotten so spoiled with comfort and ease that when we are uncomfortable we quickly seek to get back to our comfort zone or don’t ever want to leave it to begin with.
The word comfort conjures up all sorts of positive visuals and emotions. Curling up in front of a fire with a blanket and cup of coffee, snuggling in bed with your kids and reading a story, the hug from a loved one, the job you don’t have too think to hard about because you know it inside and out. You feel warm, loved, safe, in control.
Now envision what uncomfortable feels or looks like. Standing in front of a room full of people and having to give a presentation, running at an increased pace or starting a physical activity, having a difficult conversation with a friend, starting a new job, learning a new skill, sticking with a goal….how do you feel? Scared, nervous, sick to your stomach, sore, frustrated, out of control?
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Susan David Ph.D has given TED talks on discomfort and her quote is one that I have rolled around and around in my head. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” Take that in for a minute. What does that mean in your life.
What if uncomfortable looked and felt different? Imagine starting that new career that you have always wanted, but because you are comfortable you continue to stay in your same job feeling less than fulfilled. You know what to expect and it feels safe and easy. Although you dream of something different the thought of changing is daunting. Instead of feeling anxious, scared and like you couldn’t possibly manage a new career move, what if those feelings were felt with a positive spin? You are exhilarated at the thought of learning new things, you begin thinking of all the ways this change will allow different things in your life instead of drawbacks and fear is replaced with excitement.
In order to grow physically, mentally and spiritually we have to learn to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and thrive in the uncomfortable. Research shows that the key to excelling, achieving our goals and dreams, and ultimately become a better version of our-self we need to strive regularly to do something uncomfortable. Those that are the most successful seek out discomfort regularly and recognize that discomfort provides the greatest opportunities.
I often write about goals and understanding your why and how mindset is your biggest advocate when pursuing what it is you want most. Being uncomfortable is part of that and doesn’t have to be viewed as negative. Change your mindset around being uncomfortable and all of a sudden it is fun albeit challenging in uncharted waters.
So what’s holding you back from attaining that new job, signing up for your first 5K, losing a few unwanted pounds, setting a budget and living by it, having a hard conversation? Is it fear? Is it the thought of being “uncomfortable?”
5 tips to help you get comfortable with the uncomfortable:
- Show Up and Start – What is your goal? What is your why for setting your goal? Knowing what you are seeking out and why it is important to you decreases the fear and anxiety with stepping out of your comfort zone and pushes you onward.
- Manageable Steps – After identifying the main goal, break it into small manageable steps so that you don’t become overwhelmed with discomfort. Imagine you are wanting to get in better shape and your main goal is to run a 5K. If you don’t currently run you will most likely feel pretty uncomfortable, but if you start small and set realistic steps to reach your big goal the discomfort will be lessened and you will have a much higher chance of long lasting success.
- Embrace Hard – So you start to make a change, it gets a little uncomfortable and something unexpected happens to make the change even more challenging and you are ready to throw in the towel. You know the feeling I am talking about. The one where you sit in your room (or closet for me) and tell yourself all the reasons you can’t do it, there may be some tears and the overwhelm sets in. In this moment, fight the urge to quit and replace the negative thoughts with what is gained by the change or what you can do to manage around the hard. Is there one thing you will learn by pushing through? What does it look like on the other side of the “hard” you are faced with? These are the moments that if you push through will give you the greatest joy and sense of accomplishment.
- Create a tribe – there is a lot to be said about surrounding yourself with like minded people. They are there to spur you on, pick you up when you fall and doubt your capabilities and can help you navigate areas that are foreign to you. Even if you only have one or two people as part of your tribe, having a group to lean on can help you push on.
- Practice, Practice, Practice – at first anything new seems uncomfortable. Think of when you first learned to ride your bike. Pretty uncomfortable, but the more you did it the easier it became. The holds true for anything outside of your normal comfort zone, it will take time but each time you repeat something uncomfortable it moves you to comfort (or at the very least knowing what to expect) and when you have mastered that goal you can seek out the next uncomfortable moment.
When I think back over my life thus far, it is the times when I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know what to expect and I was extremely uncomfortable that I found my greatest satisfaction and felt the most proud inside. Were those times easy? Absolutely not, but I sure did learn a lot and it has allowed me to love my life. I would bet you could say the same. SEEK the uncomfortable and unlock the path to your best life.
Need some extra support and are not sure where to start? Wellness coaching may help you jump start a life change.
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